90s RnB songs prepared me for life, love, relationships and sex

Image from RnB Collage. Pintrest.com

If you were a teenager or in your twenties and into RnB music in the nineties you will know exactly how captivating it was to listen to ‘real talk’ over cleverly crafted electronic beats inspired by soul, funk, pop, blues and hip hop. For me and my girls as teens it was our go to for healing, advice and entertainment. I want you to think back and come on a journey with me. Grab a pen, because I’m going to reference some of the best tunes.

Back in the day summers were hot, the fashion was liberating and comfortable. For females our clothes were not too revealing, just about enough skin to show what’s up. We’d slip our slim athletic bodies into cat-suits with Dr Martin boots, cycling shorts or combat trousers with crop tops. The guys would most likely wear baggy jeans and t-shirts, or silk jackets, shirts- with loose fitting chinos or shorts. Not sure why, but in every video they seemed to sport a bare chest or vest – think back to Jodeci, Joe and 112. The stresses of adulthood had not yet reached so could we were 100% in our feelings with so much spare time. Oh where did the time go?

Artists spoke openly about sex like no other genre I know. Remember when you first heard ‘12 Play’ by R Kelly or ‘Knockin the boots’ by H-Town. Looking back I have to laugh at Wayne Marshall’s G-Spot song with its thumping beat and x-rated content. It was a time of sexual liberation much like the hippies in the sixties. We were drawn to promiscuous tales of hook-ups in the back of cars, cheating and having multiple partners over the tightest beats with melodic vocals.

We loved the image of bad boys with swag in songs like ‘Forget I was AG’ or ‘Your Love is a 187’ by the Whitehead Bros. They made us feel good about the power of love against an urban backdrop of hustle and violence. Seeing each other out around the way, at parties and clubs kept tunes like ‘You Remind Me’ and ‘Real Love’ by Mary J Blige or Can we talk by Tevin Campbell hot favourites on mix tapes or the CD’s we listened to on the way home.

But there was so much more discussed than hyper sexualised heterosexual relationships. These were timely songs dealing with everything life threw at us. For relationships En Vogue were definitely the ones to tell you how to love your man in ‘Giving him something he can feel', ‘Hold On’ or when to leave him, with the tune ‘Give it up, turn it loose’. A sisterhood of beautiful women with exceptional voices, giving us tips you might expect a mother or auntie to. We looked up to them and trusted the advice. Female empowerment at its best.

Boy bands sang songs to make us feel feminine and special like ‘Pretty Brown Eyes’ by Mint Condition. Black love was an invisible thread knitting everything together. I remember requesting ‘It’s written all over your face’ – by The Rude Boys at a house party, then waiting in anticipation through five more songs- just to experience the raw vulnerability in their story of being in love and captivated by a partner. This is an exceptional tune where a woman is treasured and completely secure in the knowledge that her love is reciprocated.

My personal favourite is ‘What Kind of Man Would I Be’ – also by Mint Condition. It really sets a high moral bar in which two people intensely attracted to each other decide to acknowledge their feelings, but not cheat on their partners out of respect. There would be fewer divorces if people adopted this principle. Here they were writing songs addressing human weakness complete with the jazz infused instrumentals of saxophones, piano, bass guitars and drums; its brilliance shouldn’t be underestimated.

When visualising what my future relationships should be like, Jodeci’s ‘Forever My Lady’ and Blackstreet’s ‘Happy Home’ songs literally solidified in my young mind what a healthy marriage should look like. The crazy, sexy, cool 90s RnB era was phenomenal. The best bit is the overwhelming sense of nostalgia we get when we listen to it today.

Get in touch for a special Sorry Ms.Jackson 90s RnB playlist