I was moved to write this blog after seeing an interview online about School Exclusion and its relationship to knife crime by Educational Psychologist at South Gloucestershire Council Dr. Chris Bagley.
In 2017 my son was permanently excluded from his mainstream school so I know first-hand how traumatic it is. Although at the time I wasn’t privy to the research and psychological constructs outlined by Chris, they offer a powerful insight into why he developed post traumatic stress disorder PTSD as a result of the situation. He has been in and out of counselling and therapy in the preceding years which I have been pushing for in a bid to aid his recovery.
Our situation – Primary school
My boy had a statement of educational needs which I thought a bloody fight to get. His primary education was plagued with temporary exclusions for disruptive behaviour and he was quickly placed in a special provision which I think was a pupil referral unit (PRU). It was horrendous. They were locked in, restrained, had additional padded class rooms. It was heart-breaking. I had no power in the decision to place him in that environment which exposed him to other children that were very violent and disturbed. I worked with the various staff to get him placed back in mainstream a few days a week, then later fulltime by the end of year 6.
Secondary school transition
As a child with a statement I had very few options for secondary school. He was outright refused access to a local secondary school on the next road called Bonus Pastor. Without meeting him they gave me 32 reasons why they refused to take him on. This was crushing because proximity was really important. I couldn’t have him commuting across Lewisham for safety and security reasons. The next closest school Seghill was huge with over 1700 pupils, so this would be way too big for him to navigate. As luck would have it I decided to move further out to Kent where we could buy a bigger house and he was accepted into a local school there before we moved.
His special educational needs were an issue in year 7 & 8, but disaster struck in year 9 when he became implicated in a situation that would see him permanently excluded and without a school for half a year. I seldom let him out alone, but on one rare occasion I let him play out with a neighbour at a local park. It was mother’s day and I was busy preparing for guests. He went off with his old bike and returned without it. He had something in his jumper which demanded he show me. It was a box of chocolates for me- a surprise that I had ruined. Bless. The day progressed and all was well or so I thought.
The next day while in the office up London I got a call that would change our lives. Apparently while in the park the previous day a group of local kids approached him. They agreed with him to purchase his old bike for a small amount of money (hence my chocolates) and gave him a knife and instructed him to take it to school and give it to a particular person. He did. He didn’t tell me about the knife, although I later found out his brother had told him not to take it in. He took it to school and got into an argument with someone and threatened them saying he had a knife. The teachers checked his bag and found the knife.
Devastating
The teachers and behavioural support staff were really sad. Everyone knew he was not the type of child that would use a knife, but he had ample opportunity to alert them on the way into school and during school that he had been instructed to bring it in- he didn’t so it was a compulsory permanent exclusion on health, safety and security grounds. Who can argue with that?
Many teachers were in tears and genuinely disappointed with what happened. But as Chris describes in his interview- these children are the most vulnerable in society- often with learning difficulties including speech and language difficulties- MY SON.
I was in insecure employment at the time weaving my way back into the civil service via an agency role. It was incredibly difficult for me to stay at home with him after a period of time. I badgered the local education authority and the school whom still had a duty of care to provide some sort of education. He was sinking into a huge depression. I feared he would take his own life. Waking him up in the morning was a struggle. He eyes were dilated and he was drowsy. It was very very hard to watch him sink into a deep depression. I was also going through huge difficulties with his older brother who was slipping down a slippery slope of street antics. He is also epileptic and after he experienced a seizure while being at home alone, I managed to get the school to accept him a few days a week albeit in isolation. Unbeknown to me- according to research cited by Chris relating to isolation, exclusions and the resulting ostracisation has really damaging psychological impacts:
“The same parts of the brain are active when ostracised as when experiencing physical pain...it is basically like an injury, it’s another form of an injury- except it’s a social one. Even more powerful than that is what’s been found is being ostracised actually lasts longer in terms of the pain caused and it can quite genuinely leave quite a deep injury on the person and their sense of self. "
Needless to say my son still struggles what happened in 2017. When he returned to education the next school year I managed to get him a place in a special school where he was referred to a therapist for support. He eventually stopped responding to the therapist so it was terminated. But still to this day he has not put the devastating impact of being excluded behind him.